Have you ever had a pivotal moment in your life? I mean a situation that made you really sit down and assess what the heck you are doing with your life?
I have had a few of those over the years believe me! This January something happened – that I am not quite ready to talk about yet as I am not finished processing it, and it involves someone I love very much and I haven’t asked that person if they are ok for me to talk about it.
I will be talking about it as it is a massive problem – not just for me, or us as a family, but for many many people and as communication is one of my highest values (you might have noticed) I believe that communication is the only way to go.
Anyway – that is a (true and very scary) story for another time but it made me sit down and think.
And what I realised was that I spend a lot of time doing a lot of stuff for people for little or no return. I don’t mind – I like to help and when I am committed – to a person, a cause, a business, a client – I will go the extra mile every single time.
And that is part of my identity.
However, what I have come to realise is that I do not always do the same for the people who actually matter the most in life. Firstly myself. Like you in all probability and certainly like most women, I put my own needs right at the back of the queue. Looking after my health was not a priority – I didn’t “have time” for it. Getting enough sleep. That’s quite important to maintain health – but there I was burning the midnight oil most nights, on behalf of others – many times doing unpaid work to progress someone else’s business or dreams, whilst damaging my own.
The other thing I was not doing such a great job of was looking after family and friends. Family is another one of my highest values – and I was not living that value. Now I am not beating myself up here – I was trying my best – or what I thought was my best.
One of the things that happened in January was that a very good friend of mine, who had been suffering with a major drink problem and therefore had turned into the opposite of a very good friend, came back into my life after going clean. And I realised that I had been judging her, without recognising that I was also not perfect. And yes I might not have done and said the things that she had that caused her to lose friends and family (hopefully only temporarily) – but I was also wrapped up in ‘busy-ness’ and trying to please everyone whilst not looking after the most important things and people.
And so – I have had to let a few things go. I have had to step back from activities that have been so much a part of my life for years that it has felt like letting part of myself go. And for a little while there I was sad. But only for a very little time. Because what I have realised is that the people who matter are still there, the things that matter continue. And by letting go of some stuff, I have created space for new and very exciting stuff to happen. Again – more about that stuff another time.
So my question to you this week is – what are YOU holding onto that you need to let go off? Where are YOU spending your time where it is not really valued? What are you neglecting because of the answer to the first 2 questions?
You know the answer.
Let it go.
Sit down today and reassess what you are spending your time and attention on BEFORE the universe comes along and smacks you in the face and makes you.
P.S I don’t know if you have ever read my blog on mindfulness, if not read it here.