I don’t know about you but I have never been a fan of New Years Resolutions. They don’t seem to be very successful and since I don’t like failing, I don’t generally set any New Years Resolutions.
There are a number of reasons why New Years Resolutions don’t work, the main one being, people are focused on the ‘goal’. So why is that a bad thing? Well, when you focus on the THING itself, you are failing to focus on the outcome and failing to plan for the obstacles.
What do I mean by that?
Well. Let’s take the 2 most common NYR’s. Giving up smoking and losing weight. Neither of those words sound very encouraging for a start. ‘Giving up’ and ‘losing’ both sound painful and negative. And they sound like things you think you ‘should’ do. Another word I am not keen on.
You can’t focus on ‘giving up’ or ‘losing’ and expect to not give up, or lose. If you want to win, or to keep going (the opposite of ‘giving up’), then you are focusing on the wrong thing.
You see you have to BE in order to DO or HAVE.
Something that you want to change about your life needs to be something you want to change forever. And the only way you are going to change something forever, is to really want to outcome of the change more than you want the current situation.
If you want to be healthy, love longer and fitter for your kids and yourself, be able to run without wheezing, or fit into your wardrobe of unwearable clothes, then what you need to do is not set any New Years resolutions. You need to set New You Resolutions.
I have a new me resolution for this year. I want to be stronger, healthier and fitter by the end of the year so that I can have more energy to achieve all the plans I have for this year. I want to enjoy the several holidays I plan to take, and I want to be able to wear the extraordinary amount of clothes I own.
So, my New You (or in my case – New Me) Resolution this year is to put me first.
It will be a novelty. I have never done it before. I am quite excited about it.
For example, I am currently in Kent teaching a week-long course in elite public speaking, with 6 other top coaches, for my friend and mentor Andy Harrington. Usually the organisation books us into twin room accommodation at the venue. The thing is – when I share a room with someone else – even my nearest and dearest, I don’t sleep very well.
I worry I am disturbing them, sometimes they disturb me. I can’t go to bed when I want or wake up when I want, I can’t have my stuff spread out across the room. I don’t especially like sharing a room, and that is no reflection on anyone but me.
And so, I decided that I’m not going to do that anymore. And I booked my own room. Frankly, it has been bliss. We put in long intense days and so to be able to just come back to the room, not have to talk to anyone, and just write, or phone home, or chill, is a blessing.
I have also decided that even though I like to be reliable and consistent, that looking after my health is more important than my blog going out on time. So, since it is now 10.40pm, I am making the decision that when I have finished typing I am going to bed – and my email with this blog in, will go out in the morning. No-one will die if it goes out late for once.
My New You Resolution to look after and put myself first will involve all sorts of things as the year progresses. First is – get enough rest. There will also be gently increasing exercise. Drinking more water until 2 litres a day becomes the norm. Stepping up the beauty regime. Gradually and totally phasing out sugar and all processed foods (not that I eat much of either of those in normal circumstances). Increasing my alcohol free days.
I know myself well enough to know that if I ‘ban’ anything, it doesn’t work. When I stopped smoking in 1999, I did it by this saying – I am not going to smoke this morning / this afternoon / this evening / today / this week. When people offered me a cigarette I said – no thanks, not right now.
I never said – I’m giving up smoking. It sounded too final, too much of a commitment and the problem with that is – when you break that, then it’s broken.
So – mine is to put me first this year, which will improve my health, my sanity and my energy, so I have more of all 3 for myself, my loved ones and my clients!
What is YOUR New You Resolution? I’d love to hear it.