The Difference Between Limiting Beliefs and the Truth.
I was talking to a client today who doesn’t like to get in front of a video camera. Well, let’s face it – getting in front of a camera is something that makes many people uncomfortable, especially when you’re talking about Facebook Lives.
Now me – I have no fear of it. I will talk at the opening of a door, and being on stage, or in front of a camera, or in front of a client, or a board of directors, has no fear for me. It wasn’t always like that. That’s a story for another day.
Back to my client though. She is a lovely woman. A Mum. A coach. She helps many people and has done for many years. She is clever and emotionally intelligent. She is articulate and has much wisdom to offer others. She is also very beautiful and she knows how to have fun, as well as being hardworking and ethical.
She deserves for her tribe to know her better – and her tribe will love it. But it is difficult for her. For very valid personal reasons she has developed a fear of speaking out on more than a one-2-one basis. So, she believes she is not good in front of camera. She also believes she can’t write. She can’t write copy, or landing pages, or Facebook posts.
Here’s the thing. In this instance, there is NO DIFFERENCE between limiting beliefs and the truth.
The limiting beliefs create the truth. Reality is she CAN get in front of a camera and she could write copy – she has the intelligence and educational level to be able to work that out. However, the truth of the matter is – her beliefs are her truths. As are yours. As are mine.
Now, she is ahead of most people in that she KNOWS these are limiting beliefs and she is taking action to do something about it. And she will get there. That I know. Because she wants to.
So – what about when the limiting beliefs really really seem like the truth?
What if you have an illness? What if that illness limits you?
Well, that’s tough. And you have 2 choices. You can BE limited by that. Or you can refuse to be limited by that.
And here’s the thing. There is a difference between your will and your beliefs. Let me explain what I mean by that.
There are 3 kinds of people. There are people who don’t, there are people who DO and there are people who create.
Who are the people that DON’T?
There are people who develop a condition or an illness, or maybe they have an accident. And they accept what has happened to them (I think acceptance is important). They then choose to believe (because it IS a choice), that nothing can be done and they have to suffer.
I have relatives who believe that all their conditions are to do with ‘getting old’ and therefore there is nothing to be done apart from suffer and moan.
So, what happens – they become (or actually they already are) people who ‘don’t. They don’t try new things – because there’s “no point”. They don’t do the things they used to because “they can’t”. Their life gets smaller, they blame other people, ‘life’, the government, the universe, God – anyone they can for their limited life.
And they allow their happiness, their joy, their very sanity – to be at the mercy of outside circumstances and people. Their life is in sync with their beliefs. They are the people that DON’T.
So who are the people that DO?
Well, you probably know some of these people. These are the people who accept what has happened to them but just get on with it anyway. They don’t allow it to limit them. They find a way around it. They carry on.
They are the Stephen Hawkins, the Johnny Peacocks and Lauren Steadman’s (Strictly Come Dancing Para Olympians). They are the Carrie Fisher’s, the Jim Carey’s, the Stephen King’s and JK Rowling’s. And the many many unsung extraordinary, ordinary people who refuse to be defined by the illness or condition, and carry on anyway.
These people use their WILLPOWER to overcome their external factor (physical condition, mental illness, emotional trauma). They still have the condition, the illness, the trauma, but they use it to positive effect. their life falls into sync with their new beliefs.
These are the people that DO.
And then there are the people who Create.
There are a few rare people, who accept what has happened, decide it is not going to limit them, take full responsibility for their life in every single respect, and then create a new life.
People like Dr Wayne Dyer who was hit by a 4×4 and dragged along a road, who woke up in a hospital to be told that he had a severely damaged spine and needed a steel rod putting in his back, which MIGHT mean he could walk again but would limit him and cause him pain.
Most people would have had the op, and then maybe not walked. Others would have had the op, walked again and made the best of their lot. Wayne, didn’t have the op, and 8 weeks later he walked again. Read his book if you want to know how.
Or they are people like Sally Anne, who I recently met while coaching people to be Elite Speakers (world class) – crippled with arthritis at the young age of 35. Who at 65 was arthritis free and climbing mountains.
Or Joe O’Connor – ex SAS, an old friend. Blown off a mountain in Wales and potentially paralysed. Now walking and inspiring other veterans.
These are the people who do not listen to limiting beliefs – their own or other peoples (including medical professionals). These are the people who take full and entire responsibility for their lives and create the life they want because they believe they can.
They CHOOSE their beliefs. And their life turns out to be in sync with their beliefs too. Funny eh?
And here’s the thing – this doesn’t just apply to illnesses, conditions or other physical symptoms of dis-ease.
Many people believe that they can’t have what they want. For whatever reasons, they have grown up to hold beliefs which limit them. They don’t believe they are good enough to have what they want. They believe that their goals are for people other than them, for people who are brighter, stronger, more deserving….or just….more. More than they are.
When I was a kid I sang a lot. I remember entertaining people on buses and at parties. As I grew up I joined a choir, then became the choir leader. I sang in musicals and pantomimes. And I had a big limiting belief, which came from my parents (god bless them) which was that you couldn’t make money from singing. You had to get a ‘proper’ job.
Now maybe they were right. Maybe I wouldn’t have made it as a singer. But that doesn’t mean I couldn’t have made money from singing. I could have been a teacher. I could have written books about it (I also love writing). I could have written songs. I could have created a choir, or a group. I could have done a million things which would have brought me joy and kept me singing. But I didn’t believe I could. I didn’t think it was possible for me. And so I became the person who DIDN’T.
Now, since I have run my own business I did go back to singing. I got a coach (everyone needs a coach), and I sang at a few small venues. And I enjoyed it. And I also realised that I enjoy speaking and writing even more than I enjoyed singing. And there’s another limiting belief that held me back for years. That I wasn’t good enough to write or publish a book. Well, 3 books later…..
So, let me ask you, are you someone who doesn’t; someone who does; or are you someone who creates? Do you refuse to hear your own limiting voice, do you refuse to listen to any other limiting beliefs? Or are you at the mercy of what happens TO you?
Remember this – everything that exists – animate and non-animate – exists because someone believed it could. Thoughts become things. Watch your thoughts.